305: Coco's Wanderlust Elopes A Vivacious Melody
Coco Poniwerski
FEATURED WORDS:
Coco's synonyms to self: forest (n.), dancing (v.), cheeky (adj.)
Coco's words: Likes: fabulous (adj.) Dislikes: normal (adj.)
Wish's synonyms for Coco: summer (n.), vibing (v.), spirited (adj.)
Essential word from this episode: growth (n.)
EPISODE SUMMARY:
"What is the one straight line in my life? It would have to be change." - Coco.
Coco's mind was filled with vibrant chaos as she journeyed through life, holding onto hope and a desire to explore what lay ahead. As a DJ, she found her rhythm through her music and a passion for embracing both her strengths and weaknesses. And eventually, she found the love of her life. Join us for a lively conversation filled with laughter and good conversation.
MAIN TOPICS:
00:00 - Episode intro
03:05 - Coco's intro
04:48 - Reminiscing our working days together
06:26 - Coco then and now
10:28 - Growing up into a role
13:06 - The DJ origin story
15:49 - Kyoto elopement
20:17 - Married life
26:03 - Wish changed her mind about kids
27:27 - Life's crooked line
30:51 - Jumping to conclusions
33:26 - Hot tips to worrying less
40:39 - Berlin Coco vs Aussie Coco
44:46 - Coco's important word to share
47:23 - Wish's important words to share
49:00 - Outro
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
QUOTABLE QUOTES
"It's beautiful also to allow yourself to change your mind and change your reality."
"Allowing yourself to undo decisions, allowing yourself to go back and say, okay, I was a different person back then and actually now seeing things from a different perspective, I think otherwise. I think it's so beautiful. It's one of these beautiful human things just to allow change to happen and say, you know what? Actually, yeah, now, yes, it does." "
... just throwing yourself into the unknown and just going with it and trying things and failing all that and also growing so quickly. If you integrate it properly, then it can really give you this humility and this perspective where you also take a step back in the things you say, and you're more conscious about how you interact with people because you just know that there's so much you don't know and that there are a million ways to interpret a situation."
"I'm sure chaos is never far away, and change is constant, but I feel like, at least in moments of peace, that there's just at least time to recharge your batteries and kind of just stabilise yourself a little bit to then jump into the next crazy cycle."
”What's in front of you is a whole world of experiences beyond your imagination. Put yourself, and your growth and development, first.” - Phylicia Rashad
REFERENCES FROM TODAY'S CONVERSATION
Untethered Soul by Alan Singer (book)
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Wish 00:00:02
Hello, dear humanity. Welcome to season three of Human Thesaurus. Human Thesaurus is an engaging podcast where I invite a diverse range of friends and acquaintances to have a conversation with me, your host, Wish Ronquillo Peacocke. Each episode takes you on a wild ride through personal journeys, profound experiences, relatable rants, hilarious moments, and insightful opinions within different industries. With a focus on individuals who are defined by multiple words synonymous with who they are, my podcast explores various perspectives and personalities resembling words with several meanings. Through these conversations, you are invited to eavesdrop and enjoy a captivating exploration of the human experience. While you're at it, you can rate and subscribe, and you can check out my show notes at humanthesaurus.co.
Wish 00:01:06
Coco is 34 and lives in Berlin, Germany. She spent the last decade of her life living in Australia and Europe while working in tech with some amazing people and playing dance music at parties and festivals. She loves spending time with nature, dancing, belly laughs. I know that for sure. Food, traveling and sleeping in, but also being active and trying new things. I met Coco through work six years ago in Sydney. She became very integral part of her team. She never ceased to amaze me because she's such a multitalented person and we had a lot of memorable, fun experiences together. The ups and downs of our jobs just makes us laugh a little bit harder. So I think that what made it. But Coco is just really a sunshine. Like, she's a thrill. When she walks in the room, you just feel her because she's that kind of a positive influence around us, pretty much. She's been through a lot, too, and it's just wonderful to see her grow and blossoming. And that's always been something that I'm proud of with the people that I surround myself with. And Coco is one of those amazing people around me that I'm grateful to know. So my synonyms for Coco are summer as a noun, vibing as a verb, and spirited as an adjective. Within this conversation, you'll understand why I describe her as such. So here she is. Coco Poniwerski! Your turn.
Coco 00:03:05
Wish, what an intro. Thank you so much. Wow, what an introduction. I don't know what to say. Well, actually, I do know what to say. Hey. My name is Coco. Same as the words. Forest as a noun, dancing as a verb, and cheeky as an adjective. I like the word fabulous, and I just like the word normal.
Wish 00:03:33
There's nothing normal about you, girl.
Coco 00:03:39
That's really like. Your side of the story is really interesting. That Summer.
Wish 00:03:43
Yes, you are a summer to me. Vibing as a verb and spirited.
Coco 00:03:49
I love vibing.
Wish 00:03:50
Very spirited as an adjective. Yeah, I really take time to think about this before the conversation. I think words do affect all of us. So what do you think about how I describe you? Can you relate to it?
Coco 00:04:11
Absolutely. I feel very humbled that you describe me in this way? I feel that the words are also really suitable to describe you. And I think that's maybe why we hit it off, because we're quite similar in that way. Just like yeah, you also just bring the house down when you're on fire.
Wish 00:04:37
What type of fire? I need to pull our pictures.
Coco 00:04:45
Depends on the situation.
Wish 00:04:48
I need to pull our pictures. It's just like those memories because it's been a few years now that we're not working together anymore. But what were the highlights that you remember when we were working together with the team?
Coco 00:05:04
When I think of us, I think of all of our banter in the Liquid Studio, just sitting at the desk and singing along to songs and just telling each other crazy stories. We did some really cool trips as well. Our Perth trip, where we ended up in this rum bar in between these containers, remember? And we had to knock and then say a password and then got into the back of this amazing rum bar. And then we were just like drinking rum and smoking cigars. Yeah, that was what a work trip.
Wish 00:05:41
It's such an amazing work trip. And I remember we were doing some troubleshooting with syncing the videos and then yeah, right. And then late at night, and then we went out to the rum bar after wait, before that we went to this basement portion where there are moonshine paired with beers, right?
Coco 00:06:08
Yes. We had a good meal there as well. Yeah, it was the best team. It didn't feel like work. We were on fire. That's what I met with. Fire. We were on fire.
Wish 00:06:24
That was really fun.
Coco 00:06:25
Missed those times.
Wish 00:06:26
So from then, while catching up with you right now, because we haven't actually spoken in a while, so how did you see yourself grow from that time? From the Accenture Liquid Studio periods of your life versus now? What did you see evolve in you? What did you observe about yourself?
Coco 00:06:54
Well, in a professional sense, definitely I stepped more into senior management position and assumed more responsibility and growing teams and presence and products. I really enjoy what I do. So it's still tech marketing. But well, where I ended up now is it's tech to battle climate change. It's very particular niche as well. It's agriculture and yeah, I love where I am now. I'm still working with a big portion of the Liquid Studio team, which, you know, which you helped assemble. And it's so nice. It's just such an inspired group of people. But I think also there was just so much change that happened from a personal perspective. I was 27, I think, when we worked together. And then everything just changed. At around 28, 29, 28, my life really started changing and I was in, got out of one relationship with a partner, got into another, decided to quit my job at the Liquid Studio, moved to Berlin. I am from Germany originally, but I left Germany when I was 18 to move to London before I then came to Australia. So I kind of came back. I was craving to come back and set up my new life here. But then when the Pandemic hit, there was another romance waiting there for the same guy. So I went back to Australia. I just felt, like, back and forth, and there was so much turmoil, kind of, but it was also good. I was just letting my spirit kind of lead me, even maybe if I thought, like, oh, I maybe shouldn't have gone back to Australia. But then, I mean, that relationship didn't work out. I'm married now, by the way. Yes. So normal relationship dramas. Isn't it great?
Wish 00:09:11
It's fantastic. Yeah. But, you know, the second time you went to Australia, although we're very supportive of you, everybody fell off their chair.
Coco 00:09:22
Like, what? Remember I was in quarantine.
Wish 00:09:25
Yeah.
Coco 00:09:26
And we were talking with a team.
Wish 00:09:28
So yeah, everybody, because we have a group chat without you there. So it's like, hey, have you heard Coco's back in Australia? What? Why? The guy why? And I was like, I think she's happy. We'll let her be. You just needed to support her.
Coco 00:09:54
You guys did. Everyone was very supportive. And there are just some things that you just need to find out for yourself. So I'm really glad that I did that. I'm really grateful for the learning, so many learnings. And if I wouldn't have come back, then I wouldn't have met everyone again to work on the awesome climate project on that we're working on now. But now I'm back in Berlin and super happy and really settled and spring is coming.
Wish 00:10:28
Yeah, but don't you think that also one of the as always right, things happen for a reason. So with your second coming in Australia, don't you think that that was because I saw that you became bigger as a DJ at that time. Don't you think that that kind of became kind of looking back, a good reason as well? Because I really felt that you were really, really like you've got more parties, you've got more events, and you're really one of the big names now.
Coco 00:11:06
Well, I think I grew in that role as well. So we were doing we were doing you know, Australia is great like that because it has so much of this kind of outdoor festival culture and so getting involved the outdoors are just incredible in Australia as, you know, spending time in nature and doing these events and getting people there. So, yeah, that all happened in Australia. And so when I I was already involved in the festival scene for like, five years in Australia. But then when I got to Berlin, I realized that, yeah, I got booked in some of my favorite clubs here because I think I just developed a different sound as well to what people are playing here, it's very different. Yeah, it's just a totally different vibe. This Bush Festival vibe is just way more just the grooves, the sounds just very different to what people listen to here in Berlin. But then spending two years here and then coming back for round two in Australia, I brought more of the Berlin sound back and that then seemed to resonate with people. So yeah, I think it was good. I don't know if I'm a big name. I enjoy what I do. I'm starting to play more here again. I got a gig this weekend and then the two weekends after that. I'm playing in major. Yeah, the weekend following this one. So I'm looking forward to that. It's like a music convention thing.
Wish 00:12:48
That's so cool.
Coco 00:12:49
So that's the fun thing, that you get to combine music with travel. But I wouldn't say that I'm like a big name. I mean, there are some really big names out there.
Wish 00:13:01
Yeah, but those are commercial...
Coco 00:13:04
What I do, I love it.
Wish 00:13:06
Tell me first, how did you because getting to know you when I met you, it's like, oh, she's this, she's this. Oh yeah. Wait. She's also a DJ? How did you come about finding vinyls and loving it this way and becoming a DJ in the end? How did you start?
Coco 00:13:32
I started well, growing up in Germany. Dance music was everywhere and it was just the coolest thing to do. So I have an older brother, he's two years older than me, so I think we got our turntables when he was 14 and I was twelve and he just bought a pair of turntables and then we were really close friends. So after school, when I was like 13-14, we went digging. There were like some two really good record shops on our way home and it was just I just fell in love with the culture. I just felt so cool going there with my with my older brother and then sitting there and going flicking through vinyl and then picking it out, listening to it. There was something so special about it. When you really love a track or you really love an album, then you just to buy it, to have something of substance and buy it and add it to your collection. Yeah. And then my brother just taught me how to beat match. But I was mostly, mostly dancing. I really got into dance music. There was a lot of like electro and house back then that I was really listening to. But it wasn't until I came to Australia that I started to play. So that was like 2012 that I started to just play. Yeah, I was pushed by a friend, like, hey, you should play at a party. And I was like, okay, cool. And then, yeah, I learned how to mix on the CDJs. So it all started in Australia, actually. But my love for music and vinyl, that started much earlier in Germany.
Wish 00:15:26
That is so cool, because you sing, you play the piano, right?
Coco 00:15:36
Yeah, well, we play the piano. I sometimes grab the guitar over ukulele. But that's just so basic. But that's more like party jack.
Wish 00:15:49
Yeah, it is. Okay, we have to track it back that you're now married. Can you please tell me again your story? Like, how did it happen in Kyoto and stuff?
Coco 00:16:05
Yes. Okay. We eloped in Kyoto. Yeah. We had a little secret Shinto wedding. We got engaged in San Sebastian.
Wish 00:16:25
It's so perfect.
Coco 00:16:26
It was so beautiful, so super in love. And then Chris proposed. Make me this beautiful, beautiful ring that he proposed with. It was just so perfect. And then the thing with well, in our case, it was like that the thing with weddings and engagements. Everyone was like, When's the wedding? When's the wedding? And our moms got involved, okay, so it's all happening. And pretty quickly, we were like, oh, shit. This is, like, turning in. This is really taking up momentum and spiraling fast. And we kind of felt and I'm like, yeah, cool. Okay, well, let's do it in summer, then. And of course, also, everyone has an opinion when you get engaged. And then we just sat down one day, and we're like, okay, how are you feeling about this? We just felt like, because it's a big thing to get married and to agree with your partner, that you really want to have a really good shot at spending your life together. And so we kind of felt like that moment when you make the promise to each other and when you really manifest that joint future together, we felt like with all these eyes on us and everyone involved, that kind of the magic would be taken away from it a little bit.
Wish 00:17:55
I get it.
Coco 00:17:56
It's more of a show than this deep. I would say that we're both quite spiritual people. Well, we just wanted something more intimate, just the two of us. And it was Chris that actually because we were planning this trip to Japan, and he came up with it, and he's like, you know what? How about we get married in Japan, just the two of us? Yeah, we did that then. And we got in touch with a wedding organizer in Kyoto. They were super sweet. They found this gorgeous small Shinto shrine for us in Kyoto that was, like, all tucked away close to a forest. That wasn't these shrines get so packed in Japan. It's just like mass tourism. So many people. So we were first thinking of doing it in Tokyo, but then it's just so many people, so you don't have the magic that it kind of gets.
Wish 00:18:54
Very intimate and private in a way. Right?
Coco 00:18:57
And it was perfect. It was perfect. It was peak cherry blossom. So we had this Shinto priest, and he really took his time. It was all in Japanese, but we had like an interpreter there, and he was, like, trying to explain. Yes, it was an intense like, the ceremony in itself is really interesting because it's a sake ceremony. So you have three different sake cups that you drink out of and you share the cup. Then you do an offering as well to the shrine. Yeah. There are different stages that you go through. Yeah, it was really beautiful. At the end, when we kind of turned around to walk away from the shrine, we discovered, like, three elderly Japanese people just sitting on the side that were only wedding guests. They witnessed the whole thing, and we're clapping. It was so cute.
Wish 00:19:55
Oh, my gosh. But this is so you. This is so you to do. And I'm glad that you found Chris who could equal the vibe with you.
Coco 00:20:09
Yeah, me too. We're so, Alight, I'm happy.
Wish 00:20:17
Oh, that's good. That's the very important thing. So how do you think that now eloping being married changes you so far?
Coco 00:20:29
Well, it just happened. I don't know. I feel like since we married, you actually said something similar to me, that you feel like you and Luke are better at being married than being in a relationship, like being a couple. And I feel it's so chill. We're so in our we love calling each other, like husband and wife. Yes. And it's just it's so much fun. We're just really excited about the future and having a family. In a way, it's also, I guess, comforting that you're building a future together.
Wish 00:21:17
Yes.
Coco 00:21:20
And I think that's different from person to person. In Berlin, it's not that common to marry anymore, actually, amongst our friends. Yeah. It is quite traditional, what we're doing. But counterculture is big in Berlin. Yeah. There's just so many couples that are not married. And I guess the thing is, in Germany, you actually get tax discounts when you're married. So one of our jokes is not, do you want to marry me, but do you want to save me? Yeah.
Wish 00:22:00
Because I was about to ask, are there any advantage of being married there?
Coco 00:22:07
Yeah, but I've had the privilege of growing up with an intact family. My parents have been married for 45 years, and I just see them. I think they're still very much in love. Of course, it comes and goes, but they're in such a good such a good place again. And we've also had some as I'm sure pretty much all families had some really dark times as well, and to just to make it through together and not give up and just always be there for each other and work things out. I really admire that. Marriage isn't for everyone, and it really depends on also where you've come, like, your journey. And I've come from a family where I've witnessed a marriage, a really intense marriage and a long marriage that's still going on and still developing, and I just want that for myself growing up in that I always wanted to get married.
Wish 00:23:16
Yes, I agree with what you were saying, that marriage is not for everyone. It actually reflects on what you also observed. I never wanted to get married at all. I think you've heard this before I even got engaged because I never really had the expectation at all. But at the beginning of a relationship, look, and I kind of agreed when we first week that we were dating, that if it lasts and we're okay not being married, but we are only going to get married if we plan to have children, because we're very liberal people. But when it comes to this, we're a little bit conservative because of also what we've both witnessed with our parents. Like, he's got an intact family, I've got an intact family. I've seen my parents through ups and downs, and my in-laws are friggin solid. I admire them so much. How much respect and love is there in that family.
Coco 00:24:28
Amazing.
Wish 00:24:29
So at some point, sometimes we think that our mind is set to something. Like, for me not having children, I don't want kids. I mean, I love kids, but not on my own. I don't want kids. I don't need necessarily to be married. And then at some point, something just evolved in my life. And there's not even one event, right? Like near death experience. It's not it just evolved into one day. It bothered me. And I went to Luke and I said, I want to try with you. I want to have kids. And then he was shocked because he kind of said that he's kind of ready as well. And then I said, I don't want, I don't want. I can't see myself pregnant. And then he was surprised. And then we started talking about marriage. So he goes, we should get married then, because we had an agreement, right? Because that's out of love and respect for both our parents, that it's a tribute. So we wanted our kids to be inside a marriage again. It's different strokes, different fault. So after ten and a half years, we got married, but we didn't even realize that we're going to end here. But that's what's beautiful about our lives, right? Like, have you ever expected that you will get married at this point in your life?
Coco 00:25:58
Not in a million years. Isn't it crazy?
Wish 00:26:03
It is.
Coco 00:26:03
How the tables just everything just changes so quickly. And it's beautiful also to allow yourself to change your mind and change your reality. I remember you saying you don't want kids.
Wish 00:26:19
Yeah.
Coco 00:26:20
And us having conversations about that. You were set on that.
Wish 00:26:24
I was so freaking set on that. Yes, that's right. But yeah, it's shocking to me, even. It's shocking in a good way, because it's a wonderful thing to realize that you can also amaze yourself. We keep on telling other people, you're amazing. You're a cheerleader to other people. You're amazing. You're wonderful. I'm so proud of you. You can also tell that to yourself. And I'm at that point now, I mean, I always have self-love, but I think it got a little bit stronger and stronger by the minute as I get older. So I was just like, I respect myself for being able to change my mind and not having an ego about it. Like, hey, oh, this is what life is supposed to be. We have plans, we have goals. That's a motivation, but not necessarily like a straight line. Right? I mean, you and I, there's never a straight line.
Coco 00:27:27
I was just brainstorming. Like, what is the one straight line in my life? It would have to be change, right?
Wish 00:27:35
Oh, yes. Actually, that's a good quote. That is fantastic.
Coco 00:27:42
Totally.
Wish 00:27:43
Yeah.
Coco 00:27:43
And what you said about ego, I think so, too, that your ego can really prevent change from happening or really sticking to what you believed in the past and what you said in the past, like, no, I'm putting my foot down, the decision has been made. Allowing yourself to undo decisions, allowing yourself to go back and say, okay, I was a different person back then and actually now seeing things from a different perspective, I think otherwise. I think it's so beautiful. It's one of these beautiful human things to just allow change to happen and say, you know what? Actually, yeah, now, yes, it does.
Wish 00:28:29
The humility in that, the humility and grace. I always have this subject recently, especially with my brother, it's always that humility and grace that a lot of people kind of were disappointing because you're like, what's wrong with them? What's wrong with them? And then you're like, there's no humility and grace that you see around you. And then you're like, no, I am not going to be around that. Because, yeah, I mean, that's what we're earning coming out of the nonlinear lives that we have, that it's either you're going to become very cynical or you're going to have that humility and grace that you can also imbibe for yourself and to other people, especially to your husband, to your partner. It's beautiful.
Coco 00:29:21
Absolutely. That's such a good observation. Yeah. With the vibrant lives that I want to say we've led, because I feel like we're both really sickled right now, chilling in our respective lounges and just chatting. I feel like the vibrant lives we've had vibrant chaos, that's for sure. And I think there's still a lot of vibrant chaos ahead of us, for sure. But looking back, I think so, too. Just all that just throwing yourself into the unknown and just going with it and trying things and failing all that and growing also so quickly. If you integrate it properly, then it can really give you this humility and this perspective where you also take a step back in the things you say and you're more conscious about how you interact with people because you just know that there's so much you don't know and that there's a million ways to interpret a situation. And I know for myself, I've fallen on my mouth so many times in my life saying things like, oh, my God, I can't believe I said that. That now I'm just way more reserved also with, like, jumping to conclusions. You know, two things. Like, it's definitely like that. Then you that's right.
Wish 00:30:51
Jumping to conclusions. That's true. Oh, my God.
Coco 00:30:54
Pointing that out like a pro. I think I haven't I turned that into an Olympic sports, I think.
Wish 00:31:00
I haven't heard my husband I think once you just mentioned that, I was like, oh, my gosh, look. Hasn't really commented anything to me about that anymore these past few years. Because before he's like, don't jump into conclusions. Why are you so ahead of everything? Relax. Now he says that to me. Not as often anymore. I just roll my eyes like, okay, whatever. Okay, not my problem. Yeah.
Coco 00:31:37
Or at least to not verbalize it. There's still a lot going on in my head. A friend of mine, he's from Iran, we were living together in Melbourne in my last couple of months in Australia. And he shared the statistic with me. That something like, of all the things you worry about, only like, two or 3%, I have to dig it out. Like, a minuscule percent are actually, like, reality or would ever become true that there's a chance that, yes, this will actually happen. So it's pretty much all in your head and the majority of all of your worries, it will just never come true. But still you spend most of your time or I had periods in the filth periods, I just spent majority of my time, like, worrying. Like, oh, my God, I've just spent, like, 5 hours worrying about things that will never happen.
Wish 00:32:32
Yes.
Coco 00:32:34
It's crazy.
Wish 00:32:35
It's overthinking. I think that's one of the things that for me, being semi-retired helped me to step back and really not overthink anymore. And then I worry less. I worry less. But I know that a part of me that worries. It's really more of just being relentless. Like, I needed to do something. I needed to do this, I wanted to do that. I've got an idea here. I needed to explore this. I don't want to stop because if I wanted to really die really old, I needed the brain to function so it wouldn't stop. But yeah, I worry less. Really? And it's good for your skin. Yeah.
Coco 00:33:26
How did you manage to worry less? It's not at its peak right now. And I try to meditate. I had a pretty good meditation practice happening over a year ago now. But then it just kind of fizzled out and I'm trying to get back into it. And that helped me steal my mind.
Wish 00:33:48
Yeah.
Coco 00:33:50
Do you have a hot tip for me?
Wish 00:33:52
I think because we evolve right? As people, our perspectives, et cetera, our attitude as well, would keep on evolving. So I think at some point, I just accepted that my mind can't be quiet because I can't meditate, as in the literal sense of meditation. So it's really more of, okay, this is how I am, I'm going to accept it. How am I going to make peace with my very noisy mind? And then you have to just separate, right? What are you worrying about? Okay, now that you have a partner, you can voice it out and then see where you land, what's logical. And then I just have to have an outlet. So as soon as I stopped working in a corporate world or startups, I needed an outlet. So I went back to my creative portion of my life. So I published a book. I'm doing this podcast. I keep on writing, I read books. I have a big imagination, so I keep on writing them down. Whatever sticks as a business, whatever. So you have to find an outlet. Number one, to accept things. Number two is to dump things that are not really necessary in your life. So all of that just boils down to self-awareness, what works for you in everything, in meditation. If it doesn't work for you, it's fine. What's happening right now is that because we've got a lot of information overload as well on the Internet, on social media, do this. This is the right diet for you. This is your astrology. The stars are not aligning for you, therefore this is your diet. This is what you need to do. There's a lot of noise around us, and we tend to get absorbed by all of these things. And then we forget that, yeah, it works for them, probably it won't work for me. Or I'll try. It's worth trying because I'm still looking. And then at some point, you will just find that ground. So that's just my hot tip. It's just like, keep on learning about yourself and then take it from there.
Coco 00:36:09
What you said, just the knowledge and the awareness that you are not your mind. There's this awesome book, The Untethered Soul. I don't know if you've heard about it.
Wish 00:36:22
Can you please take a photo, send it to me? Okay.
Coco 00:36:28
For sure. Michael A. Singer. A friend of mine, I think I realized that I managed to separate myself from my thoughts or started doing that maybe like five years ago or something, but it really hit home, like, only a couple of years after. And a friend of mine in Australia recommended me this book, The Untethered Soul, which just really talks about that you are not your mind, and your mind is a product of your conditioning and how you're brought up. And it's its own thing, and it will probably keep on doing its own thing forever until you pass. When your mind, like, someone even replies to a person, or it. Assumes different personalities, or it's sometimes really naggy, or it's like, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm thinking this. It's just my mind. So my mind can be such an asshole sometimes.
Wish 00:37:25
Oh, yeah.
Coco 00:37:28
Wow. And one of the exercises in this book is also like, just imagine your mind, and it's your naggy asshole housemate, just, like, sitting on the couch and just nagging and super opinionated about anything that's happening.
Wish 00:37:47
Very exciting.
Coco 00:37:53
And how it can totally manipulate your happiness if you take it seriously. And that it's a choice as well to say, okay, you're crazy, and that's beautiful. As soon as you can isolate it, then you're like, okay, that's definitely not me. Then it's my mind. But I know that what my mind is doing is its own thing, but it doesn't mean that I need to take that advice. It's not me. I'm not crazy. My mind is crazy.
Wish 00:38:20
It's a thought. It's a thought.
Coco 00:38:23
Yeah, that's right.
Wish 00:38:25
It's just really that trying to find your peace, and you can't really get them externally. Most of the time, it's really more of, okay. So for me, I think since the pandemic, I started kind of culling a lot of people around me. I started just focusing...
Coco 00:38:25
Like, literally?
Wish 00:38:25
No, I'm not a serial killer. Serial killer. In my mind, it's really like, okay. I wanted to provide the energy that I have to the people that I care about, the people who could match my passion, my love, my genuine self. And then if something is below that and I've tried for years and years right. It's not like you have a closed mind. It's like, oh, I don't like this person on the first minute, which normally happens, but it's really more of, you know, these people for a long time. You don't vibe with them anymore, or you don't want to fake it anymore. It's just not the right people around you. They don't make you feel happy. So you Marie Kondo your relationships. I'm just really focusing my energy on the people that I really care about, so I have quality time, I provide my time for them, and it's the right thing. And then it feeds your soul back because you're doing the right thing to the people you care about, and then you don't go home and then just chat to your best friend or to your partner. It's like, oh, my God, that's full of drama. Why did I go out with them? And it's so negative. It's like, I don't need that anymore.
Coco 00:40:17
Totally. Yeah, totally. That's so good that you did that. I'm in the process of doing something like that as well and just kind of letting those relationships that were kind of just upheld for no real reason, no real deep love or connection, I'm just letting them fizzle out, and it's so free it is to not have to put energy into that anymore.
Wish 00:40:39
Yeah. So having all of this realisation for you right. How do you see yourself as Coco in Berlin versus Coco in Australia?
Coco 00:40:49
Good question. Well, I think, firstly, when I came back to Australia again, it was like COVID I came back for a relationship, so I didn't want to leave Berlin, but I wanted to make that relationship work. Right. So it was already like, I wasn't fully happy with where I was location-wise. Berlin just has way more ways that I can integrate with the society here. It's so loud, it's so opinionated. Berlin is really when we talk about Berlin and like, my circle of friends here, we're wondering whether might it be like one of the last really free cities on the planet? Because it's really like yeah, there's a lot of freedom here. It's like anti-establishment, anti-capitalistic. Like, Google tried to establish itself just around the corner here from where I live. I live in East Berlin and there were like millions of people on the street protesting to push Google out.
Wish 00:41:59
Really?
Coco 00:42:00
Because it's like a... Girl, it's a park, it's like quite a punky, like a little bit a little bit grungy, but so cool. I love that area. Lots of, like, community. There's still people squatting there that have they've been squatting there for like, decades. It's just the way it is. And I thought that was just so powerful, like a force like Google. People really have they get together and it's people power. It reminds you of the influence you can have on your reality if you really speak your voice and speak your mind and get together. So to circle back to your question, Coco now is just I just feel I'm in my juice here. Working in the startup world and in climate, it's like, yeah, I feel really energized here, really inspired that also, that anything is possible. Berlin has there's like an outlet for anyone, for any sort of person. If you have a certain political direction, or if you have just any sort of thing that you want to express, or if you're punk, or if you're goth, or if you're whatever you are, there will be some sort of community that with thousands of people that hang out and get together and do things or have parties or go on strike together or have readings. It's just so cute. And the German government is really good like that. They're really good with creating supports, with supporting sexual orientations or domestic violence. Sexual orientations. So many youth communities where it's like to help people on their journey, just there is support here where I felt like in Australia, I mean, it's also Australia. It's such a young white Australia is such a young place that these things didn't have time to develop yet.
Wish 00:44:10
Yes.
Coco 00:44:10
And that's what I really value Europe for, is like, when it comes to human rights, right?
Wish 00:44:15
Yes.
Coco 00:44:16
It's really up there and I really appreciate it for that.
Wish 00:44:20
Yeah.
Coco 00:44:20
Happy Coco in Berlin.
Wish 00:44:22
Happy Coco in Berlin. That's what I love to hear.
Coco 00:44:27
You have to come and visit.
Wish 00:44:28
Absolutely.
Coco 00:44:29
Be my guest of honor.
Wish 00:44:31
Oh, my gosh. You have to take me silent disco because I could dance for hours with you in silent discos. I freaking love silent discos. Or drum and bass.
Coco 00:44:44
Drum and bass. Yeah. That's all sorts of musical experiences here.
Wish 00:44:56
Love it. So, yeah. Coco, in closing, what's the word that you can impart to our listeners about you and why?
Coco 00:45:06
Transformation. Transformation. There was lots of transformation in my life in the past year, welcoming transformation. And I feel transformation is even a bit stronger than change, but that's just in my mind, welcoming it, embracing it, not resisting it, but just going with it. It just always amazes me where it takes me in life. Transformation and I are good friends now.
Wish 00:45:37
That's good to hear. I'm so proud of you. Really? You're so glowing right now.
Coco 00:45:49
Yes, well, thank you so much. I'm sure chaos is never far away and change is constant, but I feel like at least in moments of peace, that there's just at least time to recharge your batteries and kind of just stabilize yourself a little bit to then jump into the next crazy cycle.
Wish 00:46:13
Yes.
Coco 00:46:13
And be a bit more prepared for it.
Wish 00:46:15
Exactly. And just also remember that you already have a partner in life, and that's also going to help you. Life is never perfect. There will be ups and downs. Especially. We've got hormones to battle with to begin with. We have hormones too. As we get older, it gets crazier. Trust me. I'm older than you. But you have a partner in life, and you're going towards the right direction in loving yourself more, having more peace, and you're going to bring that to any chaos, and you're going to come out of it stronger and stronger, really, no matter what. So that's what you can take from there.
Coco 00:46:56
That's beautiful. Thank you.
Wish 00:47:02
So thank you so much for hanging out with me. It's nice catching up with you again.
Coco 00:47:09
Thank you so much.
Wish 00:47:23
From this episode, one of the most important words about life is growth. It is the act or process or a manner of growing development or gradual increase. It's similar to words advance, headway, flourishing, sprouting, magnification, success, upswing, escalation, broadening. Phylicia Rashad, an American actress and the dean of the College of Fine Arts at Howard University in the US quoted: "What's in front of you is a whole world of experiences beyond your imagination. Put yourself and your growth and development first." End quote.
Wish 00:48:19
The beauty of you is your scars, your journey, your victories, your sorrows, your tears and happiness. There are so many layers to our lives that growth is something that we cannot ever deny ourselves to go through. It's something that makes us progress as humans, together, as individuals, and as a community. It is something that we have to award ourselves, granting ourselves that capacity to move on and evolve as a person with substance and context that makes sense for us to live our lives for the better.
Wish 00:49:00
Thank you for listening to Human Thesaurus. Please help me rate and subscribe because your support means a great deal. Join me again next week for another episode. And while waiting, why not listen to my past few episodes? You may find one of them action-packed. I'm your host, Wish Ronquillo Peacocke a fantastic day and thanks for listening.
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Licensed Music: Ketsa
Transcript: Voicequill.com
